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Theodore Roosevelt said “comparison is the thief of joy”. It literally steals us away from satisfaction with our own life.
The bible says that envy (which comparison of ourselves to others lives and situations is a root of) is a sin, one of the seven deadly.
Proverbs 14:30 A tranquil heart gives life to the flesh, but envy makes the bones rot.
Firstly, I truly believe God made us all different with his plan for earth in mind, gave each of us special skills and talents that he would love us to contribute to the world for his glory, but how often do we find ourselves looking longingly at what others are doing, achieving, looking like and which we were someone else, had something else?
I believe God wants you to know today, in this moment, that he wants you to be you.
Looking at the different meanings of comparison is useful because it all depends on what we are comparing and for what purpose.
Where comparison is useful.
Working with the principle that you can’t know light without knowing dark, night without day, black without white, good without evil, each of those are comparisons to help us understand contrast, they are reference points.
That is when comparison helps us as humans, if there are two opposing things, we can choose between them.
Comparison in this way, helps us to see choices and options.
Would you rather be in the dark or the light? Happy or sad? Faith filled or fear filled?
With our faith, it is a BIG thing, we often declare we have a faith, sing about how much faith we have, talk about having faith, pray for more faith but then live out our lives in things that are completely the opposite of faith
Obvious opposite of faith is FEAR.
A not so obvious one is….
Comparison which is a nicer word for envy and jealousy (meaning we are not satisfied with what we have been given and desire someone else's life or experiences, we don’t trust God to provide us with what we need for our individual journey.
Playing the comparison game can also be born of low self esteem or low self worth, when we are thinking someone else is better looking, more skilled, more confident, happier than us, and on it goes.
We all have fallen or do fall into this trap at different times through life, some more than others, some get stuck there.
Society, marketing and messaging from social media literally feeds this dangerous cycle of dissatisfaction.
The psychology of marketing is to make you want something you don't have or a better version of what you do have.
To make you think you are not enough, or don't have enough, or your life would better with what they are selling.
The battle is real.
We need to know how to fight that battle and win, for me, I can't do this alone.
I need God's help every day. I need to tap in and remind myself that in his eyes I am perfect, right now in this moment I am enough.
From time to time I also need others who are strong in their own faith to pray with me, work things through with me.
Yes God wants us to mature, to grow, develop and become all he intended for us. I call this ‘becoming better versions of ourselves’
The trick is a balance between then trying to grow and mature in faith, and being ok with who I am right now.
How I fight.
I pray for God to show me, guide me, help me see myself how he sees me.
I read scripture and build up God's truths in my mind and life.
I pray for God to show me how he sees others, this is a powerful prayer. Be prepared for some changes in heart and perspective.
I notice and change any negative self talk, trying to become my own best coach.
I surround myself with others who love me for who I am so I can be my full self, including in what I do for work.
I actively practise gratitude. This is one of the most powerful weapons I know, it fights depression, dissatisfaction, comparison, low self esteem. If you don't intentionally practise gratitude daily I recommend it.
Gratitude practice can be done daily in a number of ways.
I find speaking it out, writing it down and making time for it intentionally, preferably starting my day with it, you can also end your day with it.
I have started my day for years now, as soon as my eyes are open, “Thank you God for the gift of today” - Just a gentle reminder to ourselves is that some people didn't wake up today, the fact that we did means we have another shot at life.
That immediately shifts my mind. Don’t worry I don’t always stay in that state for long if things are happening in the house, moods of others, grumpy kids etc, but at least I have opened that first door for more during the day.
I find starting every prayer, any time with thanking God for everything he has done, is doing and is going to do starts to stir up feelings of satisfaction and joy.
This scripture talks about us taking control of our mind and thoughts, submitting them to God and reminds us about the dangers of relying on the world as our ‘measuring stick’.
Romans 12:2 Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.
In the bible God also talks about comparing ourselves to Christ if we must compare ourselves to anyone.
19. 2 Corinthians 10:17 As the Scriptures say, “If you want to boast, boast only about the LORD.”
20. 1 Corinthians 11:1 Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ.
Friend, if you find yourself comparing yourself to others, thinking you should be, do an have things you are not or do not, and feel like you are living life on the back foot, today is a new day, a chance to stop and declare some of God’s truths in this area of your life.
Start to use prayer, prayer of others, faith of others, and God’s mighty word to show you how he wants you to see yourself , your life and everything in it.
How he has put you right where you are for a reason.
Last tips:
Live well just for today. Todays is all we are promised
Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is all you have
Don’t waste any more time in this precious day, like I have before and we all have at times, comparing yourself or your life to someone else's, replace that time with singing worship songs, prayer, and enjoying and finding the beauty in what you do have
Arohanui
Jen xx
PS: My go to powerful prayer of all time, "God please show me how you see me, and help me to see the beauty in my current state and circumstances while you guide me to become the best version of ME I can"
Fav song of the week
King of Kings (Up loud)
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