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God says I am an encourager! That is what he has put me on this earth to be, well partly anyway.
Did I always know this? NOPE
This revelation, like others, came at a time when I was living under the weight of others' opinions and fear, a fear of what others thought, the most crippling ever of all fears I reckon.
I had grown up with a natural tendency to be a people pleaser, this was something that served me well in some jobs especially in relationship management roles. This didn't show up in a dishonest way towards others, I have always had high integrity when it came to others, but I wasn’t being true to who God called me to be, because the downside of people pleasing is that you usually lack healthy boundaries, and often put everyone's needs and opinions before your own, you can end up doing and being what others need or want to an unhealthy level.
Around 15 years ago over the course of a few weeks, two people I looked up to, made two separate and disconnected flippant comments to me….
Maybe in jest, maybe just thoughtless.
They probably don’t even remember, and definitely never knew the impact of those words.
These comments at a time when I was low in confidence and trying to work out what God wanted from me on this earth.
I was in a situation where people had been asked to share something, I put myself forward excited to share what God put on my heart and the person facilitating said
“Oh Jen Tyson, of course you have something to say”
Another situation in the same period, I was sharing enthusiastically about how I believed things would turn out well, and the person said “Jen, sometimes you are an optimist to your own demise”
At the time I had been feeling an accelerated touch of God in my life, I had been in up front leadership positions in my professional life and I felt God pressing me to share those things with the church, my newer found family. So I had been stepping out of my comfort zone and putting my hand up for things that I wouldn't normally, including leadership training and roles.
I now know through all my coaching training, that little ‘trip wires’ like this happening when you are out of your comfort zone, when you are most vulnerable, can send you flat on your face.
I shrunk back and didn’t share for some time. When God put a word on my heart for someone I didn’t share it for fear of getting it ‘wrong’, or speaking out too much. I no longer put my hand up to lead, speak.
These words also tapped into some childhood moments of being called a show off, chatterbox or drama queen. All of these statements, also probably made in ‘jest’ and if I had said anything I would have got ‘Don’t be so sensitive’.
Looking back it was one of the most oppressed, saddest times of my life, oppressing my God given talents. It was not a happy place to be.
THEN, one day in worship, I was singing with my eyes closed, I saw myself clothed in a black cloak with a hood, the hood was massive and I could see no one else, I suddenly felt alone with God, and I heard him say to me “ if it was just the two of us here, you and I, how would you be worshipping me?”
Through this intimate and powerful time, he reminded me that the only opinion that mattered was his! He had given me gifts that I was not using because of the fear of what others thought and invited me to decide differently.
I restarted on a journey to finding and stepping into the fullness of who God said I was!
Proverbs 29:25 “The fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is safe”
It took me years to peel off those layers of judgement, limiting self belief, lies in my head from the enemy and fear, and to realise that the enemy was the one feeding those things, to keep me from stepping fully into God's mantel on my life.
God had actually intended me to be a communicator, an encourager, a lover of people, a coach, a mentor, a friend, a creative thinker, a leader.
Ephesians 2: 10 "For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them."
Fast forward to today, November 2022.
In church the pastor was talking about cultivating joy, and giving an example of a guy in our church, Ben, now in his 80s, when you know Ben, you see the joy of the Lord, he used to shout out at church and is always praising Gods goodness and being an encourager.
The Pastor pointed out that life had not always been smooth for Ben and he had even suffered from periods of depression on his journey, and he had to cultivate the joy he showed. It was intentional and a heart posture he chose.
I realised this is also true for me, I am now an outspoken encourager, wherever I go in life, at home, at work, at church, at the ‘gym’ I go out of my way to sprinkle ‘love dust’ over people.
This is a practice I cultivate intentionally, people see me from the outside and make judgements (as we all do) about what I am ‘like’
“ You are always so positive” “ You are always encouraging others”
I often share encouragement to others verbally, on social media, through messages etc…
What people don't realise is that these moments, words and conversations are also encouraging me.
The joy I now have is the fruit of my obedience to God's call on my life, all those years ago.
It is an intentional 'heart posture', something I seek to feed daily, sometimes more often than daily.
Life has been tough, like for many people, and I honestly don’t know how people do this life without God in the mix! I wouldn’t be who I am today, my marriage wouldn’t be what it is, my relationships with my family and kids wouldn’t be what they are if it was up to me and my human tendencies.
My key lessons in all of this?
I have a daily choice, what to think, how to pray, what to be grateful for, what words I speak to myself and others, what I believe, what I listen to, what I watch, what I read.
I can listen to what others think, or I can listen to God
I can either be cultivating joy, positivity, encouragement, or the opposite
I can either be creating positive ripples in the water, or negative ones.
I can’t do this in my own strength, I need God and the Holy spirit.
Like watering a garden, I have to choose daily to ‘cultivate’ these things.
Even when it is hard, especially when it is hard I try my best to:
Declare Gods’ goodness through gratitude for all that he has done and doing in my life and others
Notice the beautiful things in life about the earth and the people around me
Feed my mind with good things, quotes, reading good stuff
Sharing God’s goodness and grace with others, speaking his truth whenever I can
Being genuine when complimenting others, lifting others up, encouraging others through words
Looking for opportunities to share his love and good news with others
Encouraging others on their faith journey
This level of freedom and joy can only be experienced with God, in my opinion. Life can be ruthless and hard, yet God's love and provision and even joy can help us get through and grow in strength from every situation.
Trust me I have tried 9 ways from Sunday to get that same feeling of freedom, love and fulfillment, NOTHING came close.
1Peter 1: 8 “Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory..”
If you are feeling you have lost who God wants you to be or never found it in the first place.....
Ask God to show you who he wants you to be today, then be prepared to be taken on a journey that will not always be comfortable or popular to the cultural norms and standards of this earth.
He has this waiting for everyone, I truly believe this, I am no more special than anyone else, I just stepped into his calling on my life, sometimes not very easily or gracefully, but just turning up up as I am and I tuning in, and re tuning in, often.
I realised that life with God is far better than life without him, and then went about cultivating positivity, encouragement, faith, and the JOY of the Lord.
Do I have difficult days? YES, absolutely, but with the tools now built into my life, they don’t last long. Even when really hard things come up in life, I never feel alone any more
I encourage you to step in to who God is calling you to be in the world. The world needs you. This is a space meant for you and it's waiting for you to fill it the unique way only you can, God is waiting..
Arohanui
Jen
PS: As you may know by now, my best way back to God's amazing presence is through music, through worship music, up loud and walking in nature if I can.
Here are some of my favs, sorry for the double up if I have put these here before, but that is probably because I still often listen to some 'go to favs'.
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