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This poem was written after Oliver James Scott Moran was stillborn 27th Feb 2021 (our 5th grandchild)
Walking by the river to find my peace,
Instead more questions, as life doesn’t cease.
The river glistens as it keeps on flowing,
The flowers show off colour, and on keep growing.
Life is so much easier to embrace,
No one wants to look death in the face.
The death of this baby brought more than mere tears,
The actual reality of something, many just fear.
Many hearts have been broken, at least in two,
Life as we knew it, has gone askew.
It doesn’t make sense and can’t be explained,
We cling to the what ifs, maybes, and the pain.
Like the ground that’s dry and waiting for rain,
Our souls cry out why? why us? in vain.
Logically we know it is ’just’ a season,
Yet agonising grief overcomes the reason.
For a moment in time, in this intense place,
All I can find is Gods redeeming grace.
In the river, the flowers and the sea,
I am part of a life, much bigger than me.
The sadness and anger that life just goes on,
Yet the comfort in knowing there will be new song.
The colours in the world around me have changed,
Life as we all knew it has been re arranged.
Those we expected to sit at our table,
Through deaths cruel curse are no longer able.
We get so attached to our earthly life and plans,
But it can slip away in a heartbeat, like sand in our hands.
Reaching out to grab onto the hope and the light,
I am carried through the fog and darkest of nights.
My faith helps me know there will be a new way,
Of living without the baby, who went to heaven to play.
Rest in peace little guy, in God arms, not our own,
We must have only had your little soul on loan.
Grief is like the powerful and vast ocean it seems,
Some days it is calm and other days it roars and screams.
One thing I know, it comes in and out like the tides,
We just have to pray and hang on for the ride.
A new day will dawn, the sun will always rise,
I accept that death will always be an unwanted surprise.
Jen Tyson
Author – Poet – Grandmother - Mother
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