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A post to share my experience of redundancy and waiting for God to move through a long, unexpected, difficult 6 months.
Its autumn and there are falling leaves everywhere, new seasons come and go.
A good reminder that change is a part of life.
Things die, dissolve, change and some of it is so that new things can begin, and in lots of cases be better than they were.
But when it comes to unexpected change in our lives, we cant always see anything on the other side while we are IN it.
Humans don't generally like change, some much less than others, human nature is to seek comfort, this looks different for everyone.
The human brain also looks for logic and reason behind almost everything, especially the hard stuff.
Having faith requires us to be comfortable with both change and finding no real meaning behind some things in life.
As you know if you have followed my writing, faith at that level is not something that comes naturally to me, so I am always having to be conscious about it, I am a complete work in progress.
You just have to observe the seasons to get that change is part of living on earth.
When it comes to circumstances that change on our journey, especially those outside our control, well that can be a different less natural process.
Redundancy the earthly reality - My journey.
Oxford dictionary defines the word Redundant as this
not or no longer needed or useful; superfluous.
"many of the old skills had become redundant"
Similar:
unnecessary
not required
inessential
unessential
needless
Having just been through my first Government redundancy following an election I can confirm that regardless of how the situation is handled, those are some of the things you can feel.
I wanted to share my story in the hopes that it may help someone else.
The work I was doing was meaningful, making a huge difference in a sector that contributes massively to the economy and housing of our country.
There were 22 of us, all talented, hard working, passionate and our projects showed results for the money spent.
We were addressing sector issues working in partnership with sector leaders and seeing progress.
The new Government came in looking for money to deliver their own agendas and it seemed that almost all work that was set up by the Labour Government and they didn't see value in, even if it aligned with their own priorities, they cut the funding and the people with it.
It all started for my team in September 2023 when the campaign narrative was indicating the intention.
By November we were told to stop all work, but wait for things to be sorted out.
We all waited with half our bodies on a chopping block waiting for an unknown axe to fall at an unknown time.
We heard no decisions officially until Feb 2024.
The process took 6 months from the stop work notice to the day the doors closed behind me, end of March.
No opportunity for redeployment offered just every person for themselves.
The whole range of emotions associated with grief and loss where felt on a cyclical and daily basis.
Anger, sadness, frustration, blame, reasoning, acceptance. Then around again.
As a Christian, I took time to pray, to sing, to ask for prayer, to try and tap into the faith everyone told me I “should ” have as a believer.
Every day became a battle between my mind, reality and trying hard to hold the faith.
Some of the things that kept me sane were.
Walking
Listening to podcasts
Singing
Exercise with friends
Counselling
Doing jobs I never had time to do
Volunteering
Meeting and chatting with close friends
Asking for prayer
Turning up to all the other things in my life even when I didn't feel like it
The support of my amazing hubby and family.
Like most of our lives though, this was not the only thing I was dealing with in the 6 months.
We lost our 9 yr old little dog, who was like our 6th child, suddenly and without warning.
We moved house.
We found out Jason needed surgery in the near future
We had sickness, injuries and other challenges in our large whānau.
Some days, most for a while, I felt like I was in a boxing ring being pummeled with no energy to defend myself and no way out.
I found myself fighting a huge black fog of depression and like I was dragging My feet through mud in gumboots.
I had stopped being able to sleep at all and crying about everything.
For a high energy, eternal optimist This was so far outside my natural state I found it really challenging to accept any of it.
There were some days where I was productive and winning and others I felt I couldn't move, think or function.
I have listened to some good teaching and pod casts. One of the latest by Joyce Meyer reminded me that this will end, it will end well as long as I trust God that it will work out.
My own mother used to say “ this too shall pass”
At 56 I had never been in a situation where I didn't know what was next in the work space. I had never been in a situation where not only have been made redundant but the job market is full of people like me.
The way I have always believed is that as well as praying and believing that God will provide, sometimes we have to back all of this with action.
So I did everything I could to put myself out there, re did my CV, connecting with agents who knew me, reaching out to networks, applying for roles that excited me. I just felt God would open the right door for me and close the ones that were not right.
I felt like I was in a spiritual dessert, lots of other little blessings along the way to be grateful for, but all the doors I knocked on closed, or didn't even answer.
One day 2 weeks out from my official date of my notice, I had 3 rejections in the same day, two of those were internal. We had been given the option to leave early and receive pay in lieu but I had hung around in case I was 'meant to be' in one of those roles.
I wasn't, I felt God firmly shut the door on those and knew it was him directing me to leave, I asked to leave a week early and the day I handed all my gear back and walked away, I felt lighter than I had in months!
I walked away with nothing to go to, and I just had a sense that God was in it.
Here is the best bit, where God moves....
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us... Ephesians 3:20
I get an email from an agent with an offer of application for an immediate starting fixed team role in another Government agency, meaningful and interesting work. Within two weeks I had an offer on the table and I started a week later.
The way this happened after months and months of me trying and getting knocked back, this had to be God!
I am one month into my temporary contract and I am loving it! I still have no idea what is next, and with the environment public servants are in right now, there are almost no clues, but I am trusting God that he put me in this role, he will have a plan for what it next.
Every time my brain try's to worry and think I need to keep looking for my next role, I remind myself that God has a plan and hone my focus to doing a great job every day where I am planted right now.
I am not sure why it surprises me that God showed up at the 11th hour, he often has with me, I have had other situations where I have been prompted to 'walk' in faith and within a short space of time God then shows up.
Its like a complete surrender to something in faith.
I am a free spirit, and an independent thinker, so obedience to a God I cannot see is so out of my natural human nature, but every time I experience his provision in this way I am reminded that HE is bigger than anything we can face, and also that being a believer doesn't make me immune to life's challenges, it just means I have something to hold on to that brings me hope, every time.
Arohanui
Jen
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