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Bouncing back is about being resilient. Such a 'buzz word', or is it....?
What is resilience and why would we want some of that goodness... why is it even worth pursuing?
Well when you look at it like that, "the ability to recover quickly from difficulties" I want that for sure, don't you?
How do we build it? Apart from prayer, and strengthening my faith, physically pushing through is also essential. Here is where the rubber meets the road.... or sneakers meet the pavement, for me. For you it may be something completely different, stepping out of comfort zones is personal and different for everyone, so this example may not relate directly but hopefully you will get my drift.
Can I just say....
7am walk in the summer, NO problem.
7am walk in the winter, I want to make like a bear and hibernate!
Pushing myself out the door in winter for my walks in the early morning, because I work most days, is a battle with the mind and quite honestly takes pure grit, and a wagging tail or two to make me do it! Especially on days like today, it was dark, cold and wet, even my little dog didn't want to go out.
I rug up, gear up, umbrella up, headlamp up, headphones up and GO! Put on my worship music and start walking and start putting on my gratitude pants! I am not telling you this to say "how good am I" rather to paint a picture that I think many will relate to. I have had days where I don't win and I choose comfort over resilience building...... but today I managed to push through.
Today I got all the way to the river bank, about half my walk done, and it occurred to me, that we build resilience in the toughest of times, by overcoming and pushing through. I instantly felt stronger, and yes happy that I had won the battle today.
I also started to reflect on how the despite the general focus, out in the world, on resilience building, some organisations spending thousands of dollars on 'building' it, people across the generations are really pushing back and refusing or avoiding things that make them uncomfortable.
Employers are having trouble with employees and contractors, teachers are having trouble with kids turning up or behaving well at school, parents are struggling with kids behaviour and declarations of rights, society is so PC now that people are offended by things that were just common conversations or words used for things and expecting people to know in advance what to say and not to say, teachers losing authority over kids 'rights' to do or not do certain things, kids saying 'you can't make me put down my phone' and parents backing the kids, the list goes on.
Then I was reflecting on the ripple effects of this, and how often people are missing out on resilience building opportunities, by feeding our desire to stay comfortable. Without discomfort, we almost never grow, did you know that most of our growth happens outside of our comfort zones?
As a Christian, I know I am required to step out of my comfort zone often, even writing this blog and expressing myself in this way is WAY out of my comfort zone.
Resilience is like a muscle, the more we build it the stronger we get, the less we use it the weaker we get.
I have a physical trainer, who pushes us like this in our TRX training sessions, she is a Christian and talks about preparing ourselves physically, spiritually and mentally so we have the resilience to get through the tough times.
Resilience is an essential life skill that helps us to bounce back from a variety of hardships, including illness, poverty, criticism, abandonment, death, fear, anxiety, and depression. In short, resilience is a life skill that is absolutely essential for a happy, healthy life.
Keep in mind that being resilient doesn’t make you immune from stress or hardship. Rather, having resilience means that you will experience and think about stress and hardship differently. Resilience gives you the ability to find meaning in the challenges life brings your way and to bounce back from them.
The bible is full of examples of people pushing through hard times, hard situations to get to God's promises, sometimes they never got there because they gave up and sought comfort again, and stayed there.....
As well as getting stronger each time I push through and walk even when I don't want to, I get to spend time with God in nature, and nothing is better for the soul than that, for me anyway.
I encourage you to think about the things that you are just avoiding, or finding tough to do, something you know builds resilience when you push through and do it despite how you are feeling. Maybe you are winning more often than not, and that is something to celebrate!
Instead of seeing things as hard or challenging, I try to see things as an opportunity to grow, to learn, to build my resilience muscle. I try to teach my kids the same.
In addition to prayer, pushing through physical challenges, here are some other factors that help when looking at building resilience:
Self awareness, growth mindset.
Mindfulness/Prayer and focus.
Self care, on all levels.
Positive relationships.
Purpose, knowing what Gods purpose is for your life.
Here are some of my favourite scriptures on resilience
Philippians 4:13 I am able to do all things through Him who strengthens me.
Psalm 31:23-24 Love the LORD, all you faithful followers of his! The LORD protects those who have integrity, but he pays back in full the one who acts arrogantly. Be strong and confident, all you who wait on the LORD!
Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart And do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight.
Here is to bouncing back quicker from life's challenges
Arohanui
Jen Tyson
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